Tuesday, February 3, 2015

An Ah-Ha Moment

Have you ever read a blog post (or article, or anything) that just made bells go off in your head? Like - the message of the text was so spot on with what you've felt but been unable to put into words...

I read a post like that today, from the awesome Jonathan Fields.
It's here - "Uncomfortably Alive" - go read it. Yes. Now. I'll wait.

This is what I've been trying to get out for years. I've been taught from an early age to take the comfortable route. The safe route. Never stick my neck out, never do anything that might not work out well. "Keep you head down and stay busy."And for at least the last 35 of my 47 years I've been rebelling against that very thing.

I don't want to be safe, or comfortable, or live a painless life. I want experiences, taking chances, feeling the ups and downs and everything else in between. I want to LIVE, not just EXIST, a to-the-hilt, full-on life...

I don't think God gave me this personality on accident. I was a member of a church for a while that tried to turn me into a dainty, pastel church-lady. I just can't be that person. God didn't make me that way, and it's an insult to Him not to use the personality and specific gifts He gave me. I am not a mistake. None of us are!

I've made the excuse that I'm just putting others before me, trying to sound so righteous... but that's not what I've been doing. I've been deliberately putting myself last. There's a difference. Staying busy with everything else means I don't have to feel what I'm really feeling, don't have to face those God-given longings to go out and give my gifts back to the world.

"I’d rather be uncomfortably alive, than comfortably numb." - Jonathan Fields
Watch the trailer for this fabulous documentary... the best feeling in the world is knowing I'M NOT ALONE!


  1. Just a minor correction: his essay is called Uncomfortably Alive, not Numb. I'll have to think on this one a bit...I'm pretty comfortable. Ha, stagnant might be a better word. I feel no great calling, just the plodding on of every day. I've got this 'work to be done' and 'one foot in front of the other' thing going on. I wonder how to break free and be the person I was years ago. Must figure this out. Thanks for the nudge.

    1. You're welcome - and thank YOU! lol... My mind just went with the song lyrics, I guess, lol...
      Stagnant is a good word. I get into this 'automatic' sort of mode where I don't even think about life passing, only about what needs to be done next, and that seems sort of dangerous, in my book.... easy for life to get away from you without really being lived.


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